Post - Interview

After reflecting and talking to my bro in law, I realized why it bothered me so much after “failing” that interview. How I lost my cool. I realized that everything was done deliberately to test my patience and my reaction to stress. 

I failed. Something came out that was filled with arrogance, impatience, and vile, which I don’t believe I would even do, but alas it came out.  I was found out for what really hid behind the image. I am glad it came out, and be realized for what it is. Its like this dunya, Allah has his way to expose the person no matter how much he tries to hide himself (not coz he’s feeling guilty, thats a different story), I’m talking about someone who thinks highly of themselves, that he is beyond tests. Allah brings them down to remind him who is control. I have to admit, I got a taste of whats it like in the corporate world, and frankly I want in. I see the end result is a systematic, thick skinned individual who is set on accomplishing goals no matter what. I visualize a person who is unfazed by external emotions and is able to contain himself in extremely stressful situations. The corporate world is life. A life with two children who need direction. A wife who needs a leader. A family who needs a backbone. If you can conquer that which I know is taller than the mountains of Moria, but hey its a journey. Its a recipe for role models and people of ihsan. The problem for so many people they forgot to infuse this process with Islam. They forget to rely. They forget to cry. Its the school of hard knox. But hey I want in. The smell of excellence is too enticing not to indulge. The stress and how to handle it makes playdoh into bricks, and I think its about time I start building a house. 

Reflection: Connection Lost!

TV, WhatsApp, Instagram, Vine, Snapchat, Bollywood, Lollywood, Crazywood, all of it are constantly chipping away priceless moments to witness. Its like you carrying a DSLR walking through mountains and beautiful landscape but unable to snap a single shot because all you see is nothing. As much as these things are crucial to being connected in the world, we often forget to connect with ourselves. The more we involve ourselves with external pleasure, we forget to address the inner pain. Wait! this is confusing! How can you say that I am feeling pain when Im watching a cool movie, or talking to my friends. I feel good and laugh more. My argument is that when you do not face your pain, you lose touch with yourself. With every instance of exposure to this worldly life, our soul feels pain. Every sinful act we do, our soul feels pain. Every over indulgence we go through, our soul feels pain. However, this pain is relieved through awareness of its Healer.  


The similitude of such is when you come home and see your loved one in tears, the whimpering kind. Your first instinct is to drop everything and speak and comfort the person so they can smile to see the next day. 

Our soul yearns for the hereafter, it feels lonely in this earth. Therefore it thrives on memories of the promised land through reflection and reminder. Its like reminicising with a guy who is from Madinah but lives in Karachi on the good "life" (same thing like talking to a guy who lives in Toronto but he is from Vancouver, no contest) lol.  Our soul is similar in that, it smiles when reminded of the good after "life", and cries when its deprived. By depriving the soul from this reflection, you deny its access to beauty, and force it to settle to the misery of the temporal world.  Our feelings of guilt, hope, and fear then start to wash away. Its result = a hard heart, a soul that hates to love, a blind eye, a deaf ear, a confused mind, and a sour life. 

This is the unspoken life that we often fail to speak about.

Go back to the roots

The overcomplication of concepts, the complexity of our own image, the deeper essence of our strengths and weaknesses, our whole perception of what life is and should give us can often blind us on the real picture. The plethora of perspectives can sometimes be detrimental as it becomes an addictive stimulant your brain holds on to. The brain tends to create these stories and "depth" in order to increase its own perception of worth. A brain that often philosophise prides itself in expressing deep knowledge breeding arrogance which then distances itself from the heart.  These often end with internal conflicts that can result in external death.

The beauty of life though is in its utter simplicity. The sweetness of the break of dawn and the descend of the night are there for a reason. They ground you. They lay their priorities and roles down so you can humble down. The farmers whose eyes wake up to the rays of the sun automatically inherits it's beauty and sweetness which internally transforms into content and trust.

It is when we transgress these things that we become affected. Yes it is highly praiseworthy to get up in the middle of your night to plead to the Creator, but it comes after a series of routine of your own eyes witnessing the beauty of dawn celebrating it with praises to the Highest of High.

What I am saying in this blog is appreciate the simple beauty, complications result when simple is taken for granted. When your soul becomes used to the morning beauty of fajr, dhikr, and Quran from the get go, The Most Merciful places a power in your heart that not only out do but also nourishes the brain to sync with His Plans therefore smile with the beauty of trust and love.

May Allah bless us with routine for His sake and guide us to pray always to Him for all things. Ameen

My fight against the cloud

This is the first time I'm blogging in a while but thought it would be a good way to start my own personal battle with the cloud.

What is the cloud?
The cloud is a brewing combination of delusions, confusions and all the negative sions attached to it. It is the thing that brings me down in all aspects preventing me from reaching the potential that my eyes swell up for.  It's a series of distractions with every intent in spreading my wings so thin that I can't see it anymore. It's a feeling of darkness that pulls me back to my bed when I need to wake up to pray. It's the long list of excuses to why I can't do an action this particular time. As a result it brews confusion and self doubt. It limits me to be a bystander of success rather than the initiator. It also promotes blame convincing me that the barriers are often set up by obligated social standards.

Here I am telling you that no matter what I sill be at war with this cloud. I know myself that inshaAllah I will get through this and indeed find my potential.  I have to take account of myself and look for ways to maximize yourself away from the cloud. It is to see things as they are in comparison to how valuable it is to you. It is time to take a deep breath and look at what's important to you. Look at the smiles and cries of your wife and kids. You need to sky beyond that to give them the best they can have. But most important of them all. Have trust in your Creator. Allah has done so much for me while I've been slacking off. It's about time where I pull myself back together and fly again. May Allah make it easy. Ameen.