Will you stop expecting already???

Expectations and expectations! The dogs will continue to bark on and on. Causing lots of ruckus within us. The ongoing comparisons, the high hopes, the need to fit in. All these are just ingredients to produce an unstable internal environment. Today the lesson was learned very hard and very deep. Sometimes because of our insatiable need for social success, we base our own happiness in the approval of the society that governs us. This in turn causes many to turn a blind eye on what really is the very nature of our being. Human beings thrive on the fact that we are unique. We are unique from the animal kingdom and also unique from the spiritual beings that surround us. Each of us is equipped with a different genotype, phenotype, and think tank. Our ability to look at the world from different perspectives really add to the richness of our being. The problem is that we really don’t see it.

One of the biggest steps to understand this is to realize how special you are. There is no person on the face of the earth who lacks weaknesses and strengths. Everyone is equipped with both tendencies. However they manifest in different ways. The beauty of our religion is that it encompasses all that into an understanding that everything can be classified as worship as long as the intention is for Allah. (God). The paths to paradise (providing they believe in the ultimate Oneness of God and acknowledge that His last Messenger is Muhammad (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) are vast. It can range from perfecting the simplest of actions to gaining a state of high knowledge, from just consistently praying your obligatory prayers to the influx of voluntary actions. They all by the Mercy of God can bring you to paradise. For you to truly realize the gift of Allah to you is for you to first realize the bounties that have been given to you. By appreciating the innate beauty and strengths that you have within yourself, you will find yourself more thankful to God. The more you become pleased with yourself, the easier it is to accept God’s fate upon you. People like myself often misunderstood the idea of success. They subconsciously define success as the epitome of social acceptance. What people approve is usually the gauge that we use to determine how successful we are. Anything less will be harshly stigmatized. This is the nature of civilizations. By understanding your own uniqueness, you will also appreciate the uniqueness of others.

The word “expectations” whether vocalized or implied can really impact another persons life. The degree of impact really depends on the persons capability to handle it or if the expectations matches his or her strengths. Then the impact will be something that can be tolerable. These people become the subject of comparison to the ‘unfortunate’ others whose strengths do not match theirs. They inadvertently become the centre of envy which becomes an obstacle to ones self appreciation and realization. This is not to say that they are at fault. The only people at fault here are the ones who use them as tools to embody the meaning of success.

The notion of happiness is one that is highly sought after and sometimes its pursuit can leave the person more depressed than he started. What we fail to realize is that we can cause people to exchange their source of happiness for a couple pills of depression. We do that on a constant basis by destroying their uniqueness by telling them they are just not good enough. It shifts their focus on themselves to your words which you perceive as motivational, necessary can ultimately hurt, traumatize and impede their own self growth by putting a huge boulder on their self esteem. The colour combination of perspectives, understandings, and capabilities are in itself proofs to our existence and to our religion. When you look at the Prophets (peace be upon him)’s life, he dealt with people according to their strengths and would make suggestions to lift the boulder that he saw was impeding their growth. The suggestions varied from one to the other. He celebrated their success uniquely and he measured it according to a divine plan. Not a limited worldly one which is often interpreted as a one way, single lane road. The root of true happiness is the yearning of eternal happiness. The ability to understand your purpose and how you can embody it into your sense of self and every person are different. Not all people can be scholars, merchants, doctors, etc. Some wont even see the same reasons you see. However at its essence lies the most basic belief that there is only One God. This is the nature of the human being. Your sense of uniqueness and special self can help you further facilitate your closeness to Him. This is why there is an array of good deeds that one can do to attain that station with His Lord. Some are easier to do for some than others. It just depends on your tendencies and your makeup of your strengths and weakness. So this is a call for people like myself to appreciate the uniqueness of a person through their eyes, as opposed to my own perception of it. Getting a good job, getting married aren’t really the ingredients of success, for success lies in the understanding of oneself which leads into contentment of their role which can result in the happiness of self fulfillment towards the Divine Plan. The happiness that your soul yearns for over, and over again.