There is nothing in this world that is most detested to a Middle-class single working man than a demand from his future or potential wife to have a "royal" wedding. Some girls sugarcoat it and say "baby: I just want a simple wedding", but in reality they all mean the same in one way or the other. What is even worse is when you convince the girl to reluctantly go ahead with a wedding that you have pictured over a cup of coffee at a local coffee shop, the cultural baggage of her family begins to creep in into her thoughts and not only request a dramatic wedding but DEMAND IT. These characteristics can produce a lot of unneeded stress into a promising union. Stress with no logical roots can be really disturbing for a man, causing a lot of sleepless nights etc.
I acknowledge that girls always dream of this day to be the best day in their life. The day that they will swept off by the man of her dreams to the promised land, which usually can range from a very nice hotel room to an empty room at his parents' house. But I say to these girls please wake up. You didn't marry exactly that blond haired blue eyed man who came in a pony; the man of your dreams. All those money that will be spent on a chandelier for the banquet hall, the expensive font on your invitation cards, the biggest cake with your statues on it, the photographer directly from Kodak. (Okay the photographer can stay due to the need in the world of facebook), can really be spent on getting a nice family car, a down payment on a house, hell at least a washer/dryer combo. I would even consider spending a lot of money on the honeymoon itself (rrrrrr wink wink rrrrrr) . Really girls think about it! When do you EVER hear your mom talk about her wedding? Is it something she gloats to you every given Sunday? I dont think so. There are a lot of guys out there with limited pockets but with a heart that can last you a lifetime. The problem is that you measure him up whether you think so or not, by his pocket. A man's pride is directly correlated to his ability to provide. When you show that he isnt able to pay for a wedding or a marriage it can cause some serious internal questions about his ability to even raise a family. It will cause more doubts which sometimes lead to transforming the groom into a runaway bride.
Girls often complain that the good ones are taken. But the very same girls are those who refuse to scratch down their price tag into something more affordable. Many of them dont even accept affordable payment options. A lot demand it out front, coupled with his love, committment, and his smily face. A combination that is only priviledged by a selected few.
Please girls, always think about us. We dont want to be sleeping next to our biggest financial loss each day of the week. Help us make you the happiest woman on earth. Because God only knows nothing is worse in a house than a discontented housewife ;) (or a career wife).
ADDENDUM:
First of all dont ask me what that word means. It was suggested to me by a dairy lover in Calgary. So having said that.. I wanted to add something to my original post
Usually when girls read this post, they often shrug it off and say its my family's problem. They are the ones who want this big wedding not me. All I really want is a simple wedding. Okay though it may be true in many cases, but what amazes me and the dairylover, is that why is it that they wouldnt stand up to it, rather give in too quickly like a child being shown a lollipop. I know this may upset many of the female voices and wannabe housewives out there. But sometimes it is frustrating to even think that just because a man cannot afford a wedding he must withdraw or in many cases postpone being married until he builds up a good enough credit to take out a humoungous loan from the bank to pay for an oversized room with tables and chairs, filled with people who came to it because of their facebook connection with you. Many will say, that its not true. However sometimes people lie to themselves in the mirror and say they are ugly for sure, when in reality its not that clear. So please girls, women, boys who grew up watching beauty and beast, I say to you, if a good man comes your way, the last thing you want to scare him off with is a 50$/head bill on the happiest day of your life.
That is all..
Sunday, March 8, 2009
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9 comments:
I do agree about the big weddings being a little too insane. That being said...well, some times it's not the girls fault at all. Parents (especially those of a girl who is the first child) will invite every single person they ever had contact with! Ergo, the wedding will end up being a LARGE party with people you don't really know! So it's a wedding more for them, then yourself. Ah, but I could go on this for hours...LOL!
Interesting blog though Sherepp, and interesting to see what else you will talk about.
Hey Reefy, do you think girls are perhaps, short-sighted? I mean, if they had any brains, they'd realize that sure, they'd get that beautiful wedding worthy of being portrayed in Devdas, but for the next 20 years, *they* (along with their poor hubbys who wanted nothing more than to share his lonesome heart and not wealth) will be struggling and reeling from the effects as well?
Short term gain, long term pain. (This adage applies to man, no matter what, by virtue of getting a girl. So it's a moot point when it comes to it being applied to man. I just wish to bring this to the awareness of woman within the context of weddings, where it is easily ignored.)
And sure, some woman will probably say, "yo you chauvinistic ***wipes, what will you say if the woman saves for the wedding herself and pays for it?"
Well we ***wipes would say what we say now: it's still not worth it! Why spend so much on an event, that due to being all nervous and anxious, you'll miss out on enjoying anyway? Why not save it for, as the cattle-grazing senior ***wipe from Saudi mentioned, something for later? Rrrrrawr?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ptbp0pmcg3U
You know what, I disagree with all of you. Its a person to person case, if you have the means to have a large wedding then by all means do so. If you don't then no one is forcing you to have a grand wedding. What people need to realize is that they should spend only what they can and no more. All our cases are different, a wedding that has 500 people is just as special as the one with 100 and also the one on some secluded place with just your family. All it is a celebration of a union. It's up to the couple and their family to celebrate the way they want to. Its the biggest step in 2 people's life it doesn't come every year so if some one wants to celebrate it they have all the right to do so in the manner they want to.
Okay a couple of technical issues in this entry:
1) The prince is not blonde haired and blue-eyed. That's the princess! THe prince is tall, dark and handsome!
2) He doesn't ride a pony but a stallion....
...okay reefy clearly you need to start reading some fairy tales to continue writing this blog....
Just read some of my diary entries, same thing!
TUBBY:
I think the issue was not how many guests come over, but the extravagance with which the union is celebrated. If you want to correlate that with the number of people, that's one way, and in that, I would agree with you.
But, when the cost per person goes super high in a wedding, you know, a royal wedding (Jodha Akbar/Devdas), that's what we are against.
And your comment, innocent enough, is open to sooo much perversion. You say no one is forcing you to have grand weddings, but nah uh homie, in essence everyone gets forced (from their families!), or so I hear. And you say everyone must afford weddings according to their means, but hey, ask around, who exactly does that? Everyone goes over to conform to norms.
And now, the obligatory woman jab: you see, mostly its the womans that freaking demand this and that and this and freaking waste the guy's money like no tomorrow, and what's worse is that the woman is cheerled by her family to get more and more and more. Soooo damn shortsighted.
For me, my big day rather be the honeymoon, if you get my drift. ;)
Just read the last comment...dude, someone get this guy a gal...STAT!
Well if my hunny bunny wants a " queen like wedding" and I'm able to provide such an arrangement for her, then I'll do what I have to. Afterall, she's my queen and I'm her king.
At the same time, personally I wouldn't mind celebrating my wedding like a king lol. You only get married once (unless you get divorced and remarry), or in your case Sheriff you only get married to 4 woman at a time ;) so I've planned it out for you if this is the case.
For the 1st wedding you should celebrate like a king, it being your first wife and all. Along with that you should also celebrate like a king for your 4th wedding since at that point, no more are wifeys are allowed.
Hope my words of wisdom will guide you in your wedding planning when you marry your 1st and 4th wives respectively. :)
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